It's Time For You To Stop Abusing Yourself With Secret Failures

Are you an abuser?  I'll answer for you.  Yes, you are.  And so am I.  C'mon, admit it.  You've been an abuser for a long time.  You've become an "expert abuser".  In fact, you're being abusive right now.  And if that's not you, you were being abusive just before you started reading my post.  Still not you?  Sit tight.  I've got you covered too.  You're going to abuse yourself after you finish reading my post.  See, I know you.  I know all about you and your abusive behavior.  I used to be you.  I was an awful abuser.  An abuser of the worst sort.

I was the worst!  I'd rage and rant.  I'd denigrate and degrade.  I'd deride and dismiss.  Nothing was ever good enough for me.  Even when things were perfect it still wasn't good enough.  "It should have been done this way!”, I'd chide.  "Are you ever going to get this right?!”, I'd shout.  And if you know me at all, you know that I'm not a yeller.  Nope.  Not my style.  Until it was.

You see, I'd be very subtle, coy, and clever with my abuse.  At worst, what I had to say would be delivered with a bit of a frown.  But most of the time, I said things with a straight and almost comforting look on my face.  The trick was to make sure my message sunk in.  That it took effect.  Deep beneath the surface.  Deep into the mind.  To be replayed.  Over and over.  And over again.  To have the second guessing start to repeat.  "Maybe he is right.  Maybe I did screw things up again."  Imagine having to live with that every day. 

And I did.  Because I was an abuser.  On a regular basis, I abused myself.

I abused myself physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.  In part, it's what being a perfectionist will do to you.  It's what listening to and believing the lies of Satan will do to you.  I know, you don't believe in all that.  Well, just because you don't believe it doesn't make it any less true or him any less real.  For now, know this.  "Be alert and of sober mind.  Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." - 1 Peter 5.8

Like you, I bought into his lies and deceptions about, well, everything.  My life and every part of it.  One of the primary places he'd get me was with success.  That is, if I didn't attain a certain level of success, then I'd failed.  I'd beat myself up about it.  I'd abuse myself.  I'd allow him to do it as well.  I'd hold tightly to my secret failures.  Just like you.  I'd fight and temporarily escape.  I thought I was winning.  Just like you.  Only to have the next devastating blow knock me right out of the box.

Until that day.  One day.  When Jesus Christ set me free.  Truly free.  And in case you're wondering, I'd given my life to Christ decades before that day.  Surprise!  See, that's how I know you so well.  I was you!  

Until the day I decided to lay it all down and submit and relent, I was doomed to failure and living with secret failures.  I had some lessons to learn.  My old way of living, thinking, and believing had to become and--watch this--remain just that.  OLD!  As in, in the past.  Done.  Over.  I had to take God at His word when He said, "...as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." - Psalm 103.12.  And, "I, even I, am he who blots your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." - Isaiah 43.25.  

It's time for you to do the same thing.  Ask the Lord to forgive you, because, "...if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness." - 1 John 1.9.  

You also need to forgive yourself.  That's right.  Forgive yourself for mistakes that you've made.  Forgive and move forward.  Don't let the same mistake beat you twice.  

You've also got to forgive some other folk as well.  Even if they're no longer here or in your life.  I know.  This one is hard and you just bristled up and tried to tune me out, but you're still reading.  Because you know it's true.  It's time to release them.  By way of releasing them, you'll be released.  You'll finally be able to truly live an abundant, full, and prosperous life.  The one you were made to live.  The best part about releasing them is this.  You'll be FREE!

Dr. Charles Stanley of InTouch Ministries has provided this next bit of advice for years.  If a person whose hurt you is no longer here or you don't know their whereabouts, this is what you do.  Get two chairs.  One is for you.  One is for that other person.  Have the conversation with them.  Tell them how much they hurt you.  Get it all out.  Then, forgive them.

I know.  That sounds a bit silly, doesn't it?  Until you do it and it works.  And before you ask, yes, I've done it.  A few times.  You may have to do it more than once too.  Do it.  Your life is worth it.  You're worth it.  The people who love you and those you love, they're worth it.  Because you know its had an impact on and is impacting them too, right?

I know that last one, forgiving those who've hurt and injured us, ain't simple or easy.  I also know that it must be done.  I know that this is an issue that is far deeper than can be tackled or handled in a single blog post.  That's why I didn't attempt to tackle or handle it in full.  Instead, I wanted to get you started off on the right foot to dealing with and handling it.  It's time.

It's time for you to stop abusing yourself with secret failures.  It's time for you to be at peace.  It's time for you to get set free.

If you're truly and finally ready to stop abusing yourself with secret failures and start leading and living your best life, I believe that I can help you.  Contact me.  

At The Movies Pt. 4

Dear Readers, how are you?  Are you ready?  This week's movie is a favorite of many.  Even if you're not a sports fan.  Uh oh.  Did I just tip my hand?  It's ok.  Let's get after it.  Have you ever had a bad attitude?  Of course you haven't.  Not you.  No.  Never.  Seriously.  We all have.  How about this.  Have you ever been around anyone with a bad attitude?  No.  Fun.  And finally, have you ever been led by anyone with a bad attitude?  Yep.  That one really takes the cake.  It might be the worstest (Hey, I make up words) of all!  What if I told you that the attitude of a leader will infiltrate, infect, affect, and thereby causing bad effects for the followers of the leader?  That would be wack!  Well, in this week's movie, Remember the Titans, that's exactly what happened.

C'mon.  Y'all know the scene.  The Titans are taking a break from or have just finished one of Head Coach Herman Boone's grueling and grinding football practices.  Just in case you've never seen the movie, take a gander at the scene in the clip below.

Wow. How's that for a powerful scene? Did it speak to you? Of course it did. Even if it was for the one thousandth time. "Attitude reflects leadership, Captain." Now ain't that the truth?  Gerry and Julius covered things so well, I don't have much else to add.  I know.  I know.  You're sad and disappointed.  It's ok.  I've still got something for you!  Ready?  Here we go.

1.   Check Your Attitude.  Uh oh.  You didn't expect me to come out blasting huh.  You know me by now.  This is what I do from time to time.  Anyway, it's your attitude that needs to be checked.  You're concerned about the speck of dust in someone else's eye while there's a beam in yours.  I've got a word for you.  Stop it.  Mind your business.  Check yourself.  Get yourself together.  Fix your stank attitude.  Then maybe someone wouldn't mind being led by you.  Tough words?  Not hardly.  In the days, weeks, and months to come, you'll get tougher words from me.  This is tame and light.  One last time.  Check Your Attitude.

2.   It Starts With You.  You're the leader, right?  That's why you're reading this.  You're a leader or you desire to lead.  The right way.  Just like Julius said to Bertier.  Correct though he may be, young Julius should take his own advice.  He may not have been a captain, but he was definitely a leader on that team.  Y'all know how I feel about titles and getting stuck on formal authority.  Yes, there's a place for both as it pertains to structure and the like in organizations.  I get it.  Some organizations put too much focus and emphasis on both.  Often, the real leaders, the ones who folk are really following?  They have no titles.  No formal authority.  They're names aren't listed in the managerial hierarchy.  But they're the ones everyone runs to.  They are you.  How do I know you so well?  Because I was you.  I was you during my time in Corporate America.  With and without a formal title.  I know both sides.  It's how I know that It Starts With You.  

You really wanna be a leader who's respected?  A leader who folk will follow even when you don't have any authority?  A leader who's loved?  Yes, I said it.  Loved.  A leader who gets it?  You really wanna be that kind of a leader?  If you do, it's easy.  I'm going to tell you how.  Ready?  Here we go.  If that's the kind of leader you desire to be, you must die.  Uh oh.  I just said something and 89.2% of you just ran out the door.  

For the rest of you, here's the deal.  You've got to die to the junk, funk, mess, and stuff you've been carrying that never belonged to you and was never a part of you.  You've got to die to bad, old habits and ways.  Bad, old habits and ways of doing things and thinking.  Sound hard?  It is.  Sound like it will be very well worth it?  It will be.  As long as you sell out to it.  Completely.  How on earth do you expect anyone else to buy-in if you don't buy-in?  The real and authentic you is lurking around in there somewhere.  Find her.  Dust her off.  Look to have her redeemed.

When you're ready.  I'm talking really, really, really ready.  That's when your new attitude (Yes, I just went all 1984 Patti LaBelle on you.) will be reflected throughout every level of your team, organization, and--watch this--your life.  That's when you'll be ready to Start A Fire.      

Join me on my webinar, Start A Fire on Nov. 10, 2014, I'll teach you: 

- How to start your fire

- Purpose is fuel

- The importance of quick hits

You’ll also receive:

- SPECIAL ACCESS to the EXCLUSIVE RECORDING! 
- LIFE-ENRICHING, insider leadership tips!
- EXCLUSIVE PRICING for January 2015 training: Fit In ‘15!

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW!  

SPACE IS LIMITED AND GOING FAST!

REGISTER NOW!  

BECAUSE IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY OR TOO LATE TO START YOUR FIRE!

  

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT WHY THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON ON EARTH IS THE HUMAN SOUL ON FIRE! 

   

Webinar: Start A Fire!

Registration: http://startafire14.eventbrite.com

Date(s): Nov 10, 17, 24, & Dec. 1

Time: 7.00 PM—8.30 PM EST

                 

Tap Out To Tap In: WOOOOO!

The term tap out has become a popular phrase in recent years thanks to Mixed Martial Arts (MMA).  If I may be a bit nostalgic here, the term tap out brings to mind the following: The DDT, The Rock Bottom, The Crippler Crossface, The Rock Bottom, The Camel Clutch, and of course, The Figure-Four Leg Lock.  Yes, I was a wrasslin' fan back in the day.  I told, y'all.  I'm deep.  Seriously, some of those finishing moves I just listed were used to make the person's opponent tap out by tapping the mat with their hand or flailing their arm(s) in submission.  Submission.  Giving in.  Often, they did just that.  They'd give in, because the pain was too much for them to handle.  It hurt too much.  Therefore, they had to tap out.  Also, if a wrassler (yes, I'm going to keep spelling it like this) was in a tag-team match (yes, I'm singing the song right now) and he was getting beat down, he could/would tap out and tag his partner--who was outside of the ring--to relieve/save him.  Then he'd climb or crawl out of the ring to recover and rest as his partner entered the ring.  Now, that'll teach.  Y'all remind me to write a post about that too.  For now, here's the point.

It's ok and dare I say good to "tap out."  There are some things we all need to tap out of.  Watch this: There are some folk whom we need to tap out and get away from.   Uh oh.  I just said something.  I'll move from that for now.  There are times which we simply must tap out.  The weight of whatever it is is too much for us to bear.  When we tap out, we get time to recover, re-energize, and refuel, just like the tag-team wrassler.  One of the key things there is we're tagging someone else to help us.  Someone to help us bear the weight.  The burden.  Sometimes, we need to lay down what I call "Every Heavy Thing", because sometimes, even the slightest things can be too heavy.  It's why we need the help and support of other folk, y'all.  We're not meant to do life alone.  So, whatever that situation is that you're dealing with, I've got a bit of advice for you. 

1. Carry each other's burdens...(Gal. 6.2)
2. Go to Jesus and He will give you rest (Matt. 11.28)

Sometimes, you have to tap out so you can tap in and win.  When you do, you'll get to say, "WOOOO!"  And that just may make it all worthwhile.

That Is Why It Must Be You!

Ok, y'all.  Watch this clip.  Then we'll get started.  I'll wait...  All done?  No?  Ok...  Ready?  Cool.  Let's go.  "Maximus, that is why it must be you!"  That's a powerful scene.  Imagine if you were General Maximus.  You haven't been home to see your family in years.  You're weary and worn.  You're also sworn to duty.  To honor and defend.  You've also got the ear of the most powerful man in the world.  Trade-offs.  There's some lessons in that phrase alone.  Hmmm...  We'll get to those, but for now, I want you to focus on what Marcus Aurelius says to Maximus after Maximus tells him that he does not accept Caesar's charge of becoming the protector of Rome after he dies.  He says, "Maximus.  That is why it must be you!"

That is why it must be you.

Just like Maximus, you've been charged.  You've got a charge to keep.  Whether you know it or not, you do.  See, you think no one wants to hear you.  False!  Not only do they want to hear you, but they also need to hear you.  You think, "Well, everything's been said."  Maybe.  But know this.  Your message is unique because it's yours and it's coming from you.  And there's not a single other person on this planet that can bring that message across like you.  There's a group of folk you've been called to that need your message.  They need you.  

That is why it must be you!

You think you don't have a voice.  Wrong!  It may have been squelched.  It may have been on pause.  Maybe for years.  But I assure you, dear reader, you have a voice.  It needs to be heard.  Your unique and special voice.  Called and sent for a specific group of folk.

That is why it must be you.

You think it's over.  They told you it was.  You know them.  That stuff.  Those things.  Them folk.  Flag on the play!  It ain't over, maaaaan!  It's only just begun.  Yes, I just went all Karen Carpenter on y'all!  It's only over when you quit.  As long as you're here, you've got a shot.  At whatever it is.  You hear me?!  You've got a shot!

That is why it must be you!

You still have a lil' belief left.  A lil' faith.  It might even be the size of a mustard seed.  Come close.  I've got a secret to tell you.  Closer.  Closer.  Can you hear me?  Are you listening?  Good.  All you need is a lil' faith to spark a blaze!  To spark the fire that burns within you.  To ignite the night with your passion.

That is why it must be you!

You've been told that you can't.  Why?  Because they couldn't?  Because they wouldn't?  Because they can't?  Chil' please!  Later for them.  You need to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction from them folk!  Here's the thing: You can!  Can what?  Can whatever!  Sure, you'll need some help.  You'll ask for it.  You'll get it.  You'll have to get a few PhDs, but you're ready, willing, and able to put in the work.  You're hungry!  Baby, you've got what it takes!

That is why it must be you!

You've been told that you'll never be anything.  That's cool.  Folk are entitled to their opinions.  No matter how wrong they are.  Don't you fight those tears.  Let 'em flow.  Let 'em fuel you.  That statement is a lie!  You'll be and become exactly who you're destined to be.  It's already in you.  Growing up, I'd see these posters that said, "I know I'm somebody, 'cause God don't make no junk!"  That's what I'm saying to you today.  You are something and somebody, 'cause God don't make no junk.

That is why it must be you!

You've been told that nothing good comes from (insert your city, town, school, neighborhood, family name here).  Funny.  I seem to remember something similar being said before.  That seemed to turn out pretty well.  And it will for you too.

That is why it must be you!

You've been called a failure.  To that I say two things.  The first is something we'd say as kids.  "Takes one to know one and I know you."  The second thing is this.  You are a failure.  Yep.  I said it.  'Cause you're about to Fail Ur way to victory!

That is why it must be you!

I don't know where you are.  I don't know why you're reading this.  I don't know how you stumbled upon my blog.  I don't know what's going on in your life.  I probably don't even know you.  And none of it matters.  Here's what does matter.  I know there's more for you.  I know there's more in you.  I know that you've been called to do great things!  I know there's greatness in you!  I know that it's time for what you've got to shine!  I know that it's time for you to move on up like George and Weezie!  I know that it's time for you to soar!  I know that you were made for this!  I know that you are built for this!

That is why it must be you!

I believe in you!  I know that you're ready to get in the car.  As the fire burns away the dross.  As the cleansing and healing rain washes away the miry clay.  As you strut past death and dead bones.  As you ascend unto and beyond the heights that you thought were impossible.  As you take your throne and restore your kingdom.  As you breathe new life.  I need you to know something.  You need to know that it is time.

That is why it must be you!

Rock On! Part 2

Iiiiiii’m baaaaaack!  Y'all miss me?  I missed you!  How’ve you been?!  Y’all ready for Part 2?  I'll warn you now, some of what I’m about to say is going to sound straight crazy.  It’ll even be foreign to some of you and that’s cool.  Still, stay with me.  Because…  “Yeah, Eric.  We know.  You’re going somewhere.”  My prized pupils.  You do listen to me after all.  Alright, now here we go.  

Here’s what I did after all that news today.  My day of deeply dented car doors and wack letters.  I knelt down in my Reaching Room (more on that in other posts, but you should have one too) and I cried out to God.  Expressing my love and gratitude for Him.  For his plan.  I expressed my trust in Him.  I said, “Lord, I know that none of this caught You off guard.  And although it’s new to me, I know that You’ve already got it worked out.”  After all, if I trust my life to this Cat—and I do—what’s a dented car door and a letter with some not so pleasant information?  Bigger Things, y’all. 

And aren’t I supposed to give thanks/be thankful in all circumstances (1 Thess. 5.18)?  Remind me to tell y’all how God rocked my life with that verse one day.  So, back to me being thankful in all circumstances.  Now, I’m not saying that I thanked Him for this.  Well, at least not with or in those words, but as I was praying, something strange started to happen.  This ain’t the strange part, but here’s what I did next.  I rebuked Satan and told him that this was a nice try but the old me is dead and this distraction that he’s thrown my way won’t work.  I hit him with a right cross of 1 John 4.4 and an uppercut of Philippians 4.19!  If you know me, you know that I don’t play when it comes to spiritual warfare, because it is not to be trifled in.  I suit up and I get after it!  I know you're wondering, "What's with the things God allows to happen in our lives?"  Good question.  Peep.  

 

Here’s the thing about what God allows in our lives.  See, if God allows something in our lives that means He’s ordained it.  That means it’s for our good (Note: I did not say it would feel good.).  Because He won’t allow anything that’s not going to help us grow and become more like His son, Jesus Christ.  If we respond the right way, He’ll get the glory for it and we’ll get the gain.  We’ll grow, y’all!  We’ll grow and become the persons He’s called us to be!  I mean, how cool is that?!  Ok, here’s the strange part.  I started to laugh.  Hysterically.  Uncontrollably.  And I was crying!  Cra.  Zy.  Wild, ain’t it, y’all?!  I was crackin’ up!  Now, I’m not going to get all deep and theological on y’all, but I started to understand something this evening.  I started to understand the term “tears of joy.”  Although I was crying, I was anything but sad.  I was encouraged!  I was excited!  I knew something was changing.  Something was different.  I laughed for many more minutes (say that fast 10 times).  Satan would have us be all down in the mouth and woe is me feeling and hiding in the bed under the covers and crying a different kind of tears than I cried today.  Trust me.  I’ve been there.  

Back then, it used to take me some time to come out of those funks.  Interesting, because I’d preach to other folk, “It’s ok to feel that way, you just can’t stay there.”  Aren’t we good at helping other folk, but awful at taking and applying our own advice, y’all?  Oh, so y’all are going to front on me and not raise your hands or nod your heads in agreement?  Ok.  That’s better.  If we’re going to be cool, y’all have to keep it real and be honest with me.  I’m doing and will do the same.  Cool?  Cool.  Back to my laughter.  I’m calling it Holy Laughter.  Yep.  I said it.  Sounds wild to me too.  It’s the only way I know how to describe it, because I had no reason to be laughing.  It was different than the kind of laughing we do when we hear funny jokes or we’re watching our favorite movies or TV shows.  I’ll tell y’all something else.  It felt good.  In fact, it was more than good.  It felt great.  I had (still have) complete peace about it all.  Why?  Because God’s in control.  Remember, I trust Him with my life.  Hello!  How can I not trust Him to provide me with the wisdom and necessary resources to handle this?  Chil’ please!  This ain’t nuttin’ but a ultraperm (Thank you, Eddie Murphy.).  My faith runs deep, y’all.  It has to, because I’ve got work to do. 

Y’all have more to say?  Cool.  What’s up?  “Thanks, Eric.  I dig what you’re sayin, but it sounds a little weird.  But, um, if a person wanted to, what could a person do to get like this or experience this?  Or at least get some understanding?  You know.  If a person wanted to.”  Well, if a person wanted to and said person doesn’t know who Jesus is, you’d start there.  Find out who He is.  Read about Him.  In the bible.  You know, it’s that dusty book that’s under your bed, on your bookshelf, in the dresser drawer or wherever you keep it.  It’s the one you break out when your Mama or Aunt or Bro. Johnson from the church you sometimes go to comes by to hang out.  A good place to start is in the Gospels.  Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.  Read them.  All of them.  After that, let’s talk.  Because once you’re done reading them, things may seem a wee bit different for you.  Around you.  In you.  You may find yourself feeling a bit differently.  Just like I was today.  But also just like me, you can find yourself laughing and being joyful in the midst of chaos.  All you’ve got to do is Rock On!                    

PhD

PhD.  Doctor of Philosophy.  Dictionary.com defines PhD as, “…the highest degree awarded by a graduate school, usually to a person who has completed at least three years of graduate study and a dissertation approved by a board of professors.”  I thought about obtaining my PhD, but after completing my master’s degree in business management, I was done.  No more degrees for this guy!  Now it was time to get paid!  That would have been nice.  If it actually happened.  Oh, well.  More on that in future posts.  PhD.  You want one, don't you?  The prestige.  The honor.  The juice.  No, not that kind of juice.  I’m talking about clout.   Respect.  Pull.  How cool would it be to have a PhD?!  All of your hard work would be worth it, right?  It better be.  Because you’ll have to put in a ton of work to obtain your PhD.  But you know what?  Based on my definition of PhD, I reckon that some of you already have your PhD.  “Eric.  Eric.  Eric.  You’re a funny man!  I’ve got my high school diploma.  I did a couple of years at State, but I didn’t finish.  So, once again, thanks, but you’re wrong, bud.”  I’m serious, y’all.  Some of you already have at least one PhD.  I’ll prove it.

Are you a business owner?  Or maybe you’re highly respected at your place of employment?  Maybe you’re finally pursuing your ever-elusive college degree.  No, I got it.  You’re walking in your calling.  Your destiny.  See.  P-H-D.  Many of you have one.  Where are my dream-builders?  They’ve got PhDs.  Dream-builders know.  Business-builders.  Y’all know.  Anyone who's ever had a dream and worked on bringing it to fruition knows.  PhDs ain't for the faint of heart.  It's messy stuff.  It's dirty stuff.  PhDs are costly.  Are you ready to pay?  Better yet, are you able to pay?  How do you know?  How do you know that this, this PhD that you’re about to pursue, if this is it or if it's just something you dig quite a bit?  I’ll share one way for you to know.  If you let go of it, but it won't let you go?  That's one way to know.  In truth, there's no perfect answer.  You're probably going to have to try many things before you find it.  Trial and error?  Probably in the beginning.  But at some point, you'll be drawn towards your natural gifts.  Strongly.  You'll flow effortlessly in them.  Some of you may already know what they are. You may know exactly what your it is.  If so, good for you. However, for most of you, it's going to take some digging. Some experimenting. You're going to have to dig your hands in the dirt.  Why?  Because 50 years from now you don't want to look back and say that you didn't get in the car.  

I can hear you again.  “Eric.  Are you sure you’re talking about a PhD?”  Dear reader, I assure you that I am.  Stay with me.  I’m going somewhere.  The traditional meaning of PhD, Doctor of Philosophy, is one type of PhD.  I’m talking about the other PhD.  Passion.  Hurt.  Destiny.  You are passionate about this thing you’re doing and pursuing, right?  If so, then you know that passion hurts.  You're going to have to dig deep, because passion hurts.  Passion requires sacrifice.   And you’re passionate about this thing, right?  If so, you know that it also requires hope.  It requires dogged pursuit.  What's that?  Ever seen a dog chase a squirrel, rabbit, or another dog?  Maybe you’ve seen a cheetah chasing its prey?  Especially a cheetah chasing its prey.  Furious.  Relentless.  Great speed.  Stride for stride with its prey.  Tenacity.  Exhaustion.  That's the kind of pursuit passion requires.  And it hurts.  It's why many folk give up on their dreams.

Let me explain.  Think about the things you've pursued or are pursuing passionately: new job, back to college, college for the first time, starting a business, restarting a business, career change, a man, a woman, your kids.  Any hurt in any of those?  Exactly.  Why?  Because your destiny or at least a part of your destiny may be or is in there somewhere.  In it.  In them.  Maybe it’s their destiny that you’ve been called to help them find and fulfill.  Regardless, to walk tall in your destiny, or help someone else reach and realize theirs, you have to be willing to sacrifice the short-term pleasures for the long-term rewards.  

I’ll share a quick story with you.  When I first got my dog, Bruizer, I was taken completely out of my comfort zone.  The entire experience was new to me.  The biggest challenge (there were many)?  Knowing when he needed to go out to do his business.  Housebreaking him.  It was really pushing me to my limits!  I/We had to figure this out quickly or one of us wasn’t going to make it!  See, I'm a "sign guy".  No, not that kind of sign guy.  The kind who puts up motivational signs around his home, office, and even in the car.  I type them up in PowerPoint, print them, and hang them.  Back then, one of my signs said, "Short-Term pain for Long-Term gain".  I had to sacrifice my easy way of life, cleaning up after myself around the house and being responsible for my own bathroom duties, if you will, and tend to his.  Short-term pain.  Now?  We're old pros, Bruizer and I. That short-term pain turned into long-term gain. 

Bruizer at 3 months old

Why?  Passion.  I was passionate about him and his success.  I was passionate about getting this right.  I was passionate about keeping my house clean.  Because I was so passion about it, it cost me.  Not financially.  Although, that was an aspect of it.  But how many of y’all know that that's a small piece of the pie?  Right.  Back to the point.  It cost me.  It “hurt.”  I remember asking myself, “Why is this happening?  What was I thinking?” "Somebody make it stop!"  "Make it go away!"  Passion.  Hurt.  Sacrifice.  10pm.  2am.  6am.  Those are the times that I had to take Bruizer out if I was going to help him be successful at this housebreaking thing.  In the dead of winter of 2008-2009.  Bitter cold.  Lots of snow and ice.  See, you may think I'm smart, because I write and have a couple of degrees.  Sike!  Fooled ya!  Smart folk don't buy non-housebroken (yes, I make words up) puppies.  In the winter.  In Ohio.  See not very smart. :-) 

But that little guy who had me up in the wee hours putting his lil’ paws on my boots to keep them warm, he was a part of my destiny.  But I had to make some sacrifices.  I had to be more concerned about his success than I was my lack of sleep.  I had to hurt.  I had to be passionate.  “So, Eric.  Your destiny was housebreaking your dog?”  No.  It's part of what led me to my destiny.  Speaking.  Teaching.  Writing.  Coaching.  Challenging.  Changing lives.  It also taught me: What I'm capable of.  What I'm able to withstand. That experience was a part of my destiny, because it brought me here with you today.  To challenge you.  To charge you.  To begin equipping you. To help you find your destiny.  To tell you that, "Even when you don't fit, you're fit". Y'all like that, don't you?  Good, ‘cause it’ll be coming soon in a series near you!  :-)  

Seriously, though.  It is usually the case that during those times you're the most fit.  By the way, anytime you don't fit you should get excited!  Why?  Because you're about to grow in major ways!  You'll be tested.  You'll be tried.  However, if you stay in the fire, you'll find out that you're fit for the purpose.  Passion.  Hurt.  Destiny.  PHD and PhD.  Because, in the end, oh, you've become quite philosophical.  And you’ll feel as though you've earned many doctorates.  In Passion.  In Hurt.  In Destiny.  You'll have suffered.  You’ll have counted and paid the cost.  All that'll be left will be for you to take the stage and collect your hard-earned PhD.