Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Relax. That's not telling tales out of school. He does whatever a spider can. He lives with his Uncle Ben and Aunt May (who's always proud of him), because his parents were killed when he was a little boy. His best friend, Harry Osborn, is the son of billionaire, Norman Osborn, owner and CEO of Oscorp. And of course, there's a girl involved. Fellas, isn't it always about girl? Don't front. You know it's true. We all do. But that's another post for another time. Where were we? Ah, yes. Peter Parker is Spider-Man. As with all of our heroes, both the fictitious and real ones, he's a man of many layers. He's conflicted. He wants to do good and save lives, but by doing so, he endangers the lives of those he loves the most. He wants to be a regular kid, but as we all know, with great power comes great responsibility. What's a spider, er, kid supposed to do? How do you reconcile what appears to be your calling with maintaining the safety and security of your loved ones? In short, you do it, because you realize there are Bigger Things happening than what you see. Stay with me. I'm going somewhere.
In the scene from the movie captured in the picture above, there are BiggerThings happening. It looks like Harry's about to kill Spider-Man, but is he? If he's going to kill him, does he have a legitimate reason? What's his "why"? See. Bigger. Things. In the book, Difficult Conversations, (Stone, Patton, & Sheen 1999) state, "...moving away from the truth assumption frees us to shift our purpose from proving we are right to understanding the perceptions, interpretations, and values of both sides." In other words, from each of our perspectives we have the things that we know that we know that we know that we're right about. Except for one thing: We're not right. I can hear you now. You're saying, "Babe, this Eric cat is crazy! He said I'm not right. We both know I'm right about everything. Right, babe? Babe?" My man, the look she just gave you would cut through steel. You really need to stay with me no matter where I'm going. Let's get back to it, y'all, because he's gonna need some help.
In understanding Bigger Things, we must come to know and accept that seldom is it ever about getting the facts right. Here's what I'm saying. No matter what your eyes see and your ears hear, there are Bigger Things going on in and with the conversation you're having with your loved one, coworker, clerk, service person, etc. With what you just saw. Here's another example. I used to love the TV show Three's Company. What was the premise of almost every episode? You got it. A major misunderstanding. Usually, someone only had a portion of all the information they needed which led to a major misunderstanding for all parties involved and hilarity for the viewers. But what was really happening? Bigger Things. There were Bigger Things going on.
There are Bigger Things going on as to why you hate your job. As to why you don't get along with that person. As to why you continue to listen to that stuff, those things, and them folk, even though they continually hurt you and you're no longer a Bad Landlord. As to why you've stopped chasing your dreams. As to why you stopped believing in yourself. Bigger Things are the reason why we have to get understanding. Bigger Things are the reason why we need to listen more. Bigger Things are the reason why we need to be more empathetic. So the next time it's required of you to assess a situation (like you're probably doing right now), take stock of the Bigger Things. Aunt May would be proud.
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